There is nothing I dislike more than when a catch–all phrase is used to justify otherwise unacceptable behavior: “Boys will be boys,” “If the shoe fits,” and “Happy wife, happy life” are all common examples of phrases employed as blanket excuses for a wide variety of social situations. Of course, such idioms exist in a similar way to many stereotypes in that they may be true in some cases, but not others. While the situation I am about to describe was not justified in any way by its participants or bystanders, it was a scenario I believe many would label as one where boys were just “being boys.” For this post, I would like to reflect on the dilemma many educators face when establishing classroom norms for behavior management, particularly teachers of students who are coping with the rapid developmental changes of puberty that can sometimes lead to chaotic choices.
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A group of four to five boys tends to gather in a circle while waiting for class to start in the back corner of our classroom. One boy will take a softer foam ball from the basket of sports gear we keep stored on a filing cabinet when it’s not warm enough to spend some time outside, and he and his friends will toss the ball around their circle. As their game picks up, the boys start to shove each other to catch the ball before their friends can, and eventually any number of them are twisting another’s arm or attempting to hold another in a headlock. Now, I know these boys have no intention of seriously hurting themselves or each other, but I do get a little anxious when I ask for them to take their seats and they give one last reluctant shove before settling down. Roughhousing is a part of growing up— I understand that. However, where is the line between playful roughhousing and the type of physical contact that could quickly spiral if it isn’t shut down?
The Team Nova teachers seem to draw this line in different places based on their own comfort levels, as do most educators in the EMS building and beyond. It is clear that physical contact with the intention to hurt oneself or others is not acceptable, but what about the gray zones where friends are just messing around? After witnessing a few roughhousing instances, I realized that my instincts to stop the boys’ play seemed to kick in a lot quicker than those of some teachers, but they were also a bit slower than others. First and foremost, my priority is to maintain a healthy and safe environment for my students, and with roughhousing, there is a lot to consider in the health and safety areas: Will the physical contact turn into something more aggressive? Could the play be perceived as real fighting, and could that perception trigger other students or adults? What if someone accidentally gets hurt, or the roughhousing makes someone involved (participant or witness) feel uncomfortable? What if something in the classroom (chair, table, technology equipment) breaks as a result of the ball throwing or competitive shoves? Common sense tells me that when the game turns into more than just a few simple nudges, I should jump in and stop the interaction before it escalates, but not every teacher, parent, or student would agree with my decision. Roughhousing is against our school’s conduct policies, but “roughhousing” is hard to define, especially when certain types of rough play would be considered active participation in P.E. or recess. For now, I am comfortable with taking my cooperating teacher’s lead and learning where he draws the line in his classroom and in the hallways. In the future, I am inclined to say I will follow my school’s policies on classroom management. However, I also believe that I will not hesitate to intervene earlier on in a roughhousing situation if students’ play looks like it holds the potential to erupt in more aggressive behaviors. So, while I understand that some developmental needs may lead my students to portray the textbook “middle schooler” types, I look forward to learning more about classroom management in my placement as new behavior challenges arise. Hopefully, the skills I will develop in classroom management will better support my goal to create a safe, healthy, and respectful learning community within my future classroom.
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